Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Salmon of Wisdom

“No traitor, the salmon. He returns to his home.
When you’re tired of searching there, you’ll find the answer here.”  4th cent Welsh

Through the Druid practice we gain wisdom from the ancient stories and myths of all cultures. There are a few stories of Celtic origin that hold great wisdom and are studied often by many seekers and philosophers.

Dream: I am on a mountain and I see Bill, he is looking for his daughter, she is lost. He is upset and very concerned. I tell him I will help search because I know how to be a guide in the wilderness. This is what I do best I think. Feeling much confidence. I go around the mountain and find the young girl just hiking around she was not lost just wandered to far. I see Sue and tell her I have found Bill’s daughter. I am really glad I found her.

The young girl is me and I have found me. She is my child. Let her be in me and with me. Open me to the depth of love for her and me. Remember her and know you have the skills to find her.

One of the ancient stories is the Salmon of Wisdom

If we follow the river Boyne in Erie to its source Conla’s well we will find this sacred pool surrounded by nine hazel nuts trees. These trees are as old as time itself. They have gnarled limbs and trunks of many colors of purple and deep brown. Attached to the green leaves are fat ripe hazelnuts waiting to be pluck. And every now and then one of those nuts drops into the dark waters of the pool.

It is said if you sit quietly by the pool and gaze at it’s depths you just might be lucky enough to glimpse one of its five ancient inhabitants, the quiet sleek salmon swimming in it’s waters, jumping every now and then to catch one of those hazelnuts as it’s falls.

These hazelnuts feed the salmon and make them the wisest creatures on earth. One of the goals of Celtic spirituality is to catch one of these salmon and eat it. And when we eat it the Celtic child-god of light brings us eternal life in the form of love, creative inspiration, and wisdom. To attain this eternal life like the salmon we must go back to our birthing grounds.

To return to my birthing grounds is to take the journey to my soul the place of deepest love and wisdom. What path will get me there? As a Druid the path for me is to catch the salmon and taste of it’s essence. What does this look like? Right now my practice is to be outside, to be present to everything around me, to experience the edges of everything. To see, feel, smell, and hear life. To play in the snow, talk to a squirrel, taste the wind, listen to the stones and remember. When I gaze at a stone what do I see? Look beyond what is there deeper, wider, beyond the hard surface, the cracks, the colors, what is there. Be in relationship with this stone.

Love, wisdom, and awen already exist in me, but I don’t let myself tap into this alchemy that would open me to everything. Recently I have been in whirlwind of self-doubt, comparison and judgment about not who I am, but what I have to offer and where I am going. Then underneath shame because I am not the person that can achieve my desires. When I am in this place there is no room for the salmon of wisdom or for the venom of the snake to move through my body.

Dream: There are two women and they have to climb up a robe to get something (don't know what) The first women starts climbing. I think she is not going to be able to climb. It is too hard. I know I can't do it because I am not strong enough anymore. Then all of a sudden the rope has knotted rings to grab and to place my feet in so I can climb up. I get to the top and too my surprise there is another world there.

My homework in the dream world is to feel the support of the animus and anima and to go into the other world. Feel my inadequacy.  Feel the discomfort and pain. Let myself be bitten without reaction. The anima is with me climbing and the animus provides me with the foot and hand holds. I am not alone and it is okay to have help. This is big because for me the wisdom comes in the form of support, which I have not trusted or asked for in this waking like. I can do this alone but I won’t get to the other world without them.

And with this wisdom I feel so close to the opening I desire and then the judgment comes in and blows it all away. This is all boring judgment responds, then the dreams can’t be remembered and the anxiety and pain take charge. I wonder if I won’t let myself have what I desire, I wonder if not remembering my dreams is a way to put a stop to the process of transformation.  I wonder if I won’t let myself have home because I don’t think I deserve it. These are the questions that I ponder today and they bring up so many feelings, sadness, anger and shame. But I am not surprised because I already know the answers to those questions.

The dreams bring the wisdom that opens to the love that provides the inspiration to be in the world in a way that is the truth of me. 

There are many paths to the salmon of wisdom and there are many ways to take in its wisdom. For me I must bite into it and savior this delicious essence while the copperhead snake bites deeply into my arm.

Dream: I am on a mountain with another women. We walked into a log cabin and a copperhead snake bites me on the arm when I reach down. I am not afraid and let it be. 

Feel into the bite 

What is my mythical story?

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